lindaransonjacobs

Personal perspective and research about the child of divorce

Category: Divorce

A New Year and a New You

“My soul thirst for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” Psalm 42:2

The New Year is upon us. Have you thought about 2013 and how it is going to be better than last year? Some of you have been so busy this past year that without realizing it at the time, you might have gotten discouraged. Now you face 2013 with a sense of dread.

It might be because a single parent life is busy, hectic and down right tiring. That alarm clock sounds too loud and too early each morning. You stumble out of bed in a daze and jump right into the day’s activity. You think, “Oh God, I know I need to spend some time with you but I’ll do it tonight.”

The evening comes and goes in a blur of activity. You fall into bed and you try to talk to God or you open your Bible and try to read His word but before you know it that crazy alarm clock is sounding again. It is the call to a new day. You start over vowing that today will be better, calmer and you’ll be more in control.

When are you going to meet with God?

When are you going to be fed?

When are your spiritual needs going to come first before the kids, the job, your extended family, church and other responsibilities?

When nothing quenches that aching in your soul and you thirst for God’s living word is when. You can go anytime to meet with God but you have to take the responsibility of doing it. That means purposely setting the time aside. It means making an appointment to meet with God. How about before you eat lunch? How about before you start the car in the parking lot of where you work?

Everyday can be better than yesterday when you live it through the living Word. Start today to create a new you that will be full of joy and one who experiences the mercies of the Lord each day. There will be days of frustration. There may be grief and trauma that comes into your life this next year. But there is nothing that can keep you from the mercies of the Lord except you.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22

Blessings in this new year.
Linda Ranson Jacobs

Helping Kids Feel Successful

Just came across this bit of research today. It was in Kathy Nunley’s enews from Brains.org

In order to increase both creativity and productivity in any work or task, the worker must feel they are making progress in meaningful work. Students who experience small wins more frequently, who have autonomy with clear meaningful goals, and who work in an environment without punishment, make the most progress. The least progress is made when a student feels the work is useless, meaningless and they are not sure why they are doing it. Amabile, T. (2012). “Creativity, Productivity and Commitment: Revelations From the Work Diaries.” Presentation given August 3, 2012, American Psychological Association Annual Conference, Orlando, FL.

I believe this can apply across all age groups including preschool age children. When a child experiences small wins in what they are doing and they survive in environments that are not punitive but nourishing they will make the most progress or have the most success.  Whether that be in playing, studying or getting along with peers.

Children need to feel independent. They need worthwhile goals even if it is committing to making their bed or helping a friend put the blocks away. Like the tip above says, the least progress is made when a child feels useless, meaningless and they aren’t sure why they are doing something.

This might lend itself to the child of divorce who is shifted from place to place. Many times they feel useless, life has no meaning and confusion reigns.

Give the child of divorce meaning. Help them set viable goals and give them the means to obtain their goals. Encourage them in their progress by describing their success.

Help them feel wanted. Give them a sense of independence, not put upon as many kids of divorce who have to care for younger siblings feel. Help them to understand they are part of a family unit whether it is at home, church or school.

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