Personal perspective and research about the child of divorce

Category: Single Parents

A New Year and a New You

“My soul thirst for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” Psalm 42:2

The New Year is upon us. Have you thought about 2013 and how it is going to be better than last year? Some of you have been so busy this past year that without realizing it at the time, you might have gotten discouraged. Now you face 2013 with a sense of dread.

It might be because a single parent life is busy, hectic and down right tiring. That alarm clock sounds too loud and too early each morning. You stumble out of bed in a daze and jump right into the day’s activity. You think, “Oh God, I know I need to spend some time with you but I’ll do it tonight.”

The evening comes and goes in a blur of activity. You fall into bed and you try to talk to God or you open your Bible and try to read His word but before you know it that crazy alarm clock is sounding again. It is the call to a new day. You start over vowing that today will be better, calmer and you’ll be more in control.

When are you going to meet with God?

When are you going to be fed?

When are your spiritual needs going to come first before the kids, the job, your extended family, church and other responsibilities?

When nothing quenches that aching in your soul and you thirst for God’s living word is when. You can go anytime to meet with God but you have to take the responsibility of doing it. That means purposely setting the time aside. It means making an appointment to meet with God. How about before you eat lunch? How about before you start the car in the parking lot of where you work?

Everyday can be better than yesterday when you live it through the living Word. Start today to create a new you that will be full of joy and one who experiences the mercies of the Lord each day. There will be days of frustration. There may be grief and trauma that comes into your life this next year. But there is nothing that can keep you from the mercies of the Lord except you.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22

Blessings in this new year.
Linda Ranson Jacobs

Unhealthy Self Esteem in Children

Unhealthy self esteem in children is something I have been thinking about for quite some time. Dr. John Roseman in his book, “Parenting By the Book” is what got my mind to really thinking seriously about this subject. By unhealthy self esteem I am talking about a high self esteem. You know the kid that thinks they are so special they deserve everything they want.

“If you love me you will keep my commandments” John 4:15 Jesus doesn’t tell us that we have to obey him. He doesn’t threaten us or reward us into obeying him. God doesn’t force us to believe the Christ was His son. Goodness knows He makes a strong case about it and with all the prophecies in the Old Testament how could we not? But still it is each person’s individual choice to believe or not.

Oswald Chamber in his book, “My Utmost for His Highest” says on the devotion for November 2nd, “God never insists on obedience.” God also never forces His will upon us. It is always our decision and we should want to do His will because we love Him. Also I think because when we truly love God we respect God and who He is.

The high self esteem concept could be the reason kids are so out of control today. Think about this, in the Bible it talks about in the end times how children will turn away from their parents. “Children will rebel against their parents…..” Mark 13:12 NIV Well, we certainly have kids turning away from their parents in our world today. Kids today are disobedient to parents, teachers, church and government and to God. But then again why shouldn’t they be? We have raised children with this self esteem concept. Schools and day cares tout that we should not destroy a child’s self esteem. Therapist and counselors work with parents all the time to help raise a child’s self esteem. Even in some churches we are careful not to do anything that might affect a child’s self esteem.

In raising their self esteem and keeping their little psychic’s in tact we have turned them into little beings and then adult beings where everything is about “ME”! “But I WANT that toy” says to many parents that they have to purchase the toy. Think about the cheating in school; the addiction to drugs and alcohol – “but it makes me feel good”. All of these issues are ultimately about what I WANT and about ME. Curse anyone else’s feelings – the world revolves around me.

What have we done as a society? We have raised an entire generation with entitlement issues. “But I am entitled to feel this way; to have what I want; I deserve to be rewarded.” Don’t you imagine Bernie Madoff said these things to himself when he stole all that money. Even after his arrest and sentencing his wife still thought she deserved to live in her mansion and live in the life style she was accustomed to living.

(Sorry I digress!!!)

Self worth, self respect and a healthy self esteem are all good and needed in our kids today.

Living, breathing, trusting and loving God is foreign to many of our children and teens today. Because to believe, to respect, to trust and to love God would no longer be about “ME”!

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