Personal perspective and research about the child of divorce

Hello World Again

I posted this message under a different blog name. As an after thought I decided to make this more personal than professional. The professional blog will come later and I’ll let you know when it happens and where to find it. In the mean time enjoy my personal perspective about children of divorce and DC4K, DivorceCare for Kids.

So here we go. “A blogging we will go. A blogging we will go. Hi Ho the dairy-o a blogging we will go.”    

I’ve decided it is time to start blogging about children of divorce. I wrote and developed DC4K. It is important for the religious world to learn about how they can help the child of divorce.

Many churches use DC4K, DivorceCare for Kids. DC4K is a 13-week video based and Christ centered program to help children heal from the devastation of the break up of their family unit.

DC4K uses games, art and craft projects, read aloud story and videos each week. Different learning styles are accommodated through the varied projects.

Churches that run DC4K are amazed by the healing these kids experience in such a short time. School teachers have noticed a difference in kid’s behaviors in kids who have attended DC4K. Sunday School teachers notice how kids are more attuned to the scriptures and pay attention to the bible stories after DC4K.

I developed an wrote the DC4K curriculum. I poured into it everything I had learned over 30 years in working with children of divorce. Many of the stories are based on my own children’s experience of growing up in a divorced home. Other I stories are gleaned from children’s experiences in a therapeutic  child care that I ran for many years.

Stay tuned. I believe you will be blessed.

Divorce Hurts the Kids

Divorce hit the American culture with a Bang in the seventies after Ronald Reagan signed the first no fault divorce law. Approximately a million children a year have experienced the divorce of their parents.

Now children are experiencing the separation of their co-habitating parents. Either way, a divorce or the separation of co-habitating parents, to the child it is the break up of their family unit. With it comes hurt, feelings of betrayal and confusion. 

For 1 in 3 children today in order to say “Hello” to one parent, they have to say “Goodbye” to the to the other parent …. over and over again for the rest of their lives.

These children wonder if they will ever fell normal again. Their world is a world of confusion and frustration. 

Elizabeth MarquardtBetween Two Worlds, research shows that children of divorce learn to
  • Worry about their stuff, because it is often lost in the constant traveling. Children of divorce tend to attach to their things
  • Wonder about religion and God, owing to the mixed message they often receive from their parents’ starkly different worlds
  • Become “chameleons”, because they have to figure out how to act in the different worlds
  • Become vigilant about parental moods; they learn to read body language very well
  • How to handle a parent’s subsequent remarriage and/or divorce or significant others that tend to move in and out

The hope for these children is the church and a relationship with Christ. Yet many of them are being left out or ignored by the church. 

Be a children’s minister that reaches out to these children. The blessings are rich. The work is satisfying and the hugs are phenomenal. 

Learn more at

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